My thoughts on religions.

First things first, I'm not an atheist. Second, I was born a Christian. And third, I love God. This thought or idea, if you may, has been lingering on my mind for quite some time. I just felt like I should write this down or in this case, blog about it. Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I would shun you if you're a Muslim or a Hindu or a Buddhist. As a matter of fact, I'm quite eager to learn about other religions and widen my horizon of knowledge. You see, my parents are not as open-minded as I hope they'd be. My mother especially. My mother is rather hypocritical in my opinion. She talks as if she's a good Christian that has never missed a Sunday service in her life but in reality, I think I go to church more than her. But this blog post isn't about my mother so I'm going to stop there.

Gandhi once said that all religions are true. You can doubt all the stories and myth in between but I truly believe the idea of God's existence. Atheists out there, I'm not downgrading your opinion. This is just my way of looking at it. I mean, think about it. A universe this big cages endless possibilities of paranormal existence. You can believe the existence of ghosts but not God? I personally think that religion is tearing us apart. Maybe not in Malaysia because we have learned to accept the fact that we have to put up with each other's religious believes. But are they doing so, merely to appear saint in the public eye or have they truly accepted the fact that other religions besides theirs exists for a reason? All religions share one thing in common. The believe in the existence of God. Isn't that important enough? That we all love God?

My main purpose for today is not to self argue about the existence of God and such. I don't think I'm in any position to do so. You see, my mum made a rule that I am only allowed to marry a man of the same religion which is Christian since I am one since birth. She made clear this rule after she found out that I had a Muslim boyfriend. Her reason was that Christianity will keep me grounded and most importantly keep my husband grounded. Also, God will bless my marriage and we're going to live a happy life. She also thinks that a Christian husband means a good husband. I think she forgot the fact that my father, her husband, is a Buddhist. Does that make him a bad husband then?

Just because my husband is a Christian does not mean he's a good man. Just because my husband is not a Christian does not mean he's a bad man. Christianity isn't the only religion that teaches its followers to be good, you know. You think that other religions teach their followers to kill and rob? No. The answer is no. A certain religion does not define who you are. It is you who defines you. Having a religion that you believe in is a good thing actually. It keeps you grounded and something to lean back on when you have lost hope on everything. But that doesn't mean that atheists are bad people either. You see where I'm going with this? Believing in a certain type of religion or not believing in a religion at all does not define who you are.

I'm not saying I'm a 100% certain that I'm going to marry someone not of the same religion as me. I don't know what God has planned out for me. In the end I might just fall in love with a Christian and marry him. Who knows? But what if God has something else planned out for me? Who are you to stop someone as holy and superior as Him? But I'm only 15. As a matter of fact, I shouldn't even be thinking about marriage or having a boyfriend. I respect my mother's believe and I hope that she'll respect mine too. I know that she only wants the best for me. I'm not committing a crime, am I? Is it wrong for me to just love God and not care about what religion I'm in? I'm not saying I want to stop being a Christian. I love being a Christian :D But just let me have the freedom every human being has. The right to believe our believes.

Cheers.

Raindrops

The sound of raindrops has always annoyed me. It reminded me too much of my past. Though I can hardly remember what I did. Hold on a second. How did I get here? Why did my feet bring me to this corner of the street? What was I doing before this? Then, I see you appearing from around the corner in a dark coloured shirt and a pair of faded jeans. Messy hair, just the way I liked it. You gave me a weak smile and evaporated into thin air. You left me there screaming your name, begging for you to come back. Then, I was in my room again.

I looked around and there you are, lying ever so still on the bed by my side. Everything looked pretty normal. "Don't wake me up", was written all over your face. You probably stayed out late last night so I figured I would let you sleep in. I gave you a peck on the forehead and went to start my day. I cleaned the house because a spotless house carves a million dollar smile on your face. I loved your smile. I got rid of the dead body stench that has been lingering around the house since Miss Scarlett from next door died. It was already 10 o'clock and you're still asleep. I decided to take a nap myself.

In my dreams, I was in a restaurant. There you are flashing your charming smile at me from across the dinner table. Our first date. One of my happiest moments with you. How brave of you to ask a stranger out on a dinner date. You could have picked any random girl from that corner of the street but you picked me. Plain old me. You walked me home and kissed me goodnight. My parents yelled at me and threatened to kick me out of the house because you were not oriental like me. I didn't care. You were all that mattered at this point.

After about two years of courtship, ups and a lot of downs, we finally got married. We bought a small house on the outskirt of town, away from the hustle bustle of the city. Most importantly, away from the judgemental eyes of the society. Our lifes were peaceful and serene and I just know that we are going to grow old together. Your parents were equally as bad as mine. So, we are basically alone out here in the big scary world. No one to turn to if we're in trouble. No one to talk to but each other and Miss Scarlett from next door.

I came home from the market one day and find her naked and lying on the bed. Our bed. She looked as surprised to see me as I was to see her. you came in butt naked and said you're ready for more but quickly realised my presence. All sorts of feeling and emotion came pouring out. Cheated on, lied to, angry, upset, disappointed, hurt. I started throwing my groceries around and went completely berserk. I gave up my family, my education and my uptown life for this man. This man who ended up cheating on me with the red head next door.

It started raining. Scarlett grabbed her clothes and tried to make a run for it. I grabbed her by her fiery red hair and she jerked backwards and gave a shriek of pain. I slapped her so hard and yelled insults into her face. She kept crying and apologising. You stood there and watched. You didn't attempt to break us up because you understood my anger. I was so blinded by my fury, I grabbed the fruit knife on our coffee table and stabbed Scarlett with it.

Blood started gushing out. Her cry was even louder than before. You came towards me and gave me slap and started yelling at me. You were protecting her. That whore that lives next door. You slapped me. Your wife. As you came to her side and calmed her with your hypnotising words, I gripped my knife even tighter and stabbed you in the neck What have I done? I killed my own husband. The knife fell out of my hand and landed on the ground with a loud clang. You and Scarlett were surrounded by a pool of blood.

I mopped up the blood ever so carefully. I buried Scarlett in our backyard. You? I injected embalming liquid into your body and sprayed the whole house with air freshener. The air freshener did not help. I carried you into bed and let you sleep. I took a warm bath and slept next to you. Then, I woke up. Now I know why I hate my past.

Kill my husband I did not. Look. He's right next to me. Sleeping so soundly. It started raining again. The sound of raindrops has always annoyed me. It reminded me too much of my past. Though I can hardly remember what I did. Hold on a second. Isn't this the corner where I first saw you?


Written by,
Monica Chen :DD

SP♠DES

Spades. One Word. Two meanings. Six letters. Also a family of eight high school students with nothing else better to do. Mum, dad, paedoFi, petani, kakak, annoying middle child, adorable anak bongsu and me, the adopted one. Our bond is tighter than skinnies on a fat rempit. We know no age nor colour and food makes us light up like a Christmas tree.

Our attention span is shorter than Kim Kardashian's marriage. We laugh at the smallest of things, be it a cat or even another person's laugh. We talk more than we do and take the longest time to finish laughing. We fight over really stupid things and are frightened by our own routine music.

How did we pull it off...I wonder. Starting to doubt the fact that ICC is over. Doubting the fact that we've won. Were they really cheering for me...for us...for Spades? I don't know. Wish I could freeze time. As cliche as that sounds, it would be nice if I was able to do so. It all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it.

Now? It's all over. Despite the cheesy "We're a family. It's not really over." nonsense, deep down, I know it is. I'm not saying we're not gonna talk anymore or we'll hate each other's guts after this but it just won't be the same. No more McDonald's every Thursday. No more longs hours in the studio. No more "Oh, Saturday? I can't. I've got dance practice." No more ass grabbing. No more Spades.

Thanks for making my first year in ICC a memorable one. Hope there's more to come but I know it won't be the same. So long and farewell to you, my friend. Goodbye for now until we meet again.

Work it, gurl.

♠

Relationships.

Hormones can do both damage and good to a teenager. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have boyfriends cuz I personally think it's a waste of time. I know you're probably laughing at this. Even I find it pretty funny to hear that come out of my own mouth but I'm just stating what's on my mind.

First you start off as friends. Then after a while, you like each other and you wanna be more than that. After you guys start dating, there really isn't anything left to do. It's either you get married or you guys break up. Have you ever thought of it from that perspective?

So don't ever be in a relationship with someone if you don't have the slightest intention of marrying him/her. Don't wanna get married nor break up with that person? Get your priorities straight or just be friends forever.

Cheers.

ILKVM

          My eyes fluttered open. The sudden exposure to bright light made my eyes close again. I hear a voice. I'm not sure what it's saying. I'm not sure if it's human either. When I finally managed to open my eyes, I found myself covered in red liquid. Is it my blood? That thought struck me with fear.

          My head is spinning. The voice was actually a song. What song is it? I don't know. Biggest urge to throw up. My head is throbbing to the beat of the music. The last time I was sober, I was in my room. This place doesn't look like my room at all.

          Where the hell am I?! I see empty ketchup bottles scattered afar. I licked my blood covered hand and to my surprise...it tasted like ketchup. Why do I have ketchup all over my body? Was I in some sort of twisted sandwich battle? Then I see a really familiar face. What's my mum doing here? Am I asking too many questions?

          I see a really disappointed look on her face. She usually gives me that look when I...oh no! That explains all the empty ketchup bottles. I'm having one of my rare ketchup hangovers. You see...I have a rare disease called ILKVM which stands for I love ketchup very much.

          Once I start, I cannot stop. I'll eat ketchup until I pass out. Which explains so much for the situation I'm in right now. Okay, time to clean up all these ketchup.

HAHAAH ok this is a really stupid story that I made while at Starbucks LOLOLOLOLOLOL kbai

Signing off...ninja style (Y)